Did you ever find yourself ignoring someone at a party because you were at a loss for words? Have you ever come to regret being harshly judged or exploited after the fact? Are you afraid to voice your ideas or opinions? Do people in positions of power seem tough to you?
These are some instances of circumstances when assertiveness is required. In interpersonal contexts, assertiveness is characterized by straightforward and honest communication that respects the rights and dignity of others. Through assertiveness training, you can learn that it’s acceptable to say “no” and to communicate your feelings, even if they are controversial.
This article explains assertiveness training and provides some exercises, advice, and resources to help them become more assertive without escalating into aggression.
What Is Assertiveness Training?
Certain conditions, such as depression, social anxiety, and issues stemming from suppressed rage, can be effectively treated with assertiveness training.
Those who want to enhance their interpersonal abilities and feelings of self-worth can also benefit from assertiveness training. It is founded on the idea that everyone is free to communicate their needs, wants, and views to others—as long as they are expressed courteously.
We may experience feelings of depression, anxiety, or anger, as well as a decline in our sense of self-worth when we feel unable to express ourselves honestly.
Because you could get bitter when others fail to read your mind for what you are not confident enough to be saying to them, your relationships with them are also likely to deteriorate.
Finally, the foundation of assertiveness training is that assertiveness is a learned behaviour rather than an innate trait. While some people are more naturally aggressive than others, everyone can develop their assertiveness skills.
Here are some suggestions for people who want to start being more forceful.
1. Understand and Recognize Your Rights
Being aware of your own and other people’s rights is the first step towards developing more aggressive behaviour. Recognizing that everyone has the freedom to voice their thoughts, ask for what they want, and decline requests that make them uncomfortable is part of this.
You may establish a strong basis for forceful conduct by thoroughly comprehending and internalizing these rights. To begin, write down a list of your rights, such as: “I have the right to say no without feeling guilty,” “I have the right to express my feelings, both positive and negative,” and “I have the right to ask for what I want or need.”
Reflecting on and embracing these rights empowers you to communicate more confidently and respectfully, fostering healthier and more balanced interactions.
2. Practice Saying No
Saying no may be difficult, especially when one is afraid of conflict or rejection. This is one of the hardest parts of being an assertive person. On the other hand, retaining one’s dignity and personal space requires the ability to say no.
Gradually increase your response time to more substantial demands by beginning small and politely declining little requests that you really do not wish to complete.
Practice using clear, firm, and polite language, such as, “I appreciate the offer, but I can’t commit to that right now,” or “No, thank you. I’m not interested.”
3. Use “I” Statements
To convey demands and sentiments without coming off as accusing, assertive communication frequently uses “I” statements rather than “you” ones. Rephrase your sentences so that they begin with “I” as practice.
For instance, instead of stating, “You never listen to me,” try, “I feel unheard when I don’t get a chance to share my thoughts,” or instead of, “You’re always late,” try, “I feel frustrated when our meetings don’t start on time.”
This approach helps you take ownership of your feelings and encourages more open and constructive dialogue.
4. Maintain Appropriate Body Language
It is also worth stating that assertiveness is expressed through body language, and the demonstrations of non-verbal communication should support verbal communication.
This entails making sure that one avoids eye contact with the opposite person and avoids slouching; instead, one should either stand or sit ramrod straight while signalling with one’s bare hands. To improve, do it in front of a mirror or, better yet, record your presentation and look at your gestures.
Stay aware of facial expressions; do not stare, smile, and look directly into the recipient’s eyes; stand upright with a good posture indicating assertiveness; use arm and hand motions appropriate to and in coordination with the speech.
The reason for being aware of body language is it strengthens your speech and makes the portrayals look powerful and self-assertive.
5. Learn to Handle Criticism Constructively
Listening without becoming defensive or submissive is what is referred to as assertiveness. Practice the following steps when receiving criticism: during criticism, remain silent and do not interrupt the criticizer; instead, respond to the criticism with phrases such as, “Thank you for your feedback” and “I can see your point of view.”
If the criticism is constructive, accept it, and if it is personal or unfair, politely explain why you do not share the same opinion.
For instance, you can say, “I appreciate your input, and we shall revisit it to see how I can make necessary adjustments,” or “I respect your input, but here are the reasons why I had to go with that strategy.”
Conclusion
Assertiveness training is an important skill that can go a long way to improve one’s life at the workplace and home.
Keep in mind that assertiveness does not equal aggression or bullying; it is learning how to speak up for oneself as well as promoting one’s own needs while being concerned with the welfare of others. If you dedicate time and effort, you can change for the better and harness all the vogues assertiveness offers to your communication and personal satisfaction.
